i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
