Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
