how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
