i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We had sex on a dog bed..
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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