The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
