what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
