some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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