i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
