At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
