Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
