So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
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In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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