I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
