Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Shame - the story of my life.
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