Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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