I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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