make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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