Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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