i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
