Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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