if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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