I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
