is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
