2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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