i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
