At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
