I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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