Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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