dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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