Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
