So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am spending my child support on dildos
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
