Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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