good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
