Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
