You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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