Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
