Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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