Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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