Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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