My first STD was from a foam party
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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