The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
