They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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