You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
