Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
