from now on my penis is your penis
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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