I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
