I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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