I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
operation harelip BJ is a go
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
