Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
