I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
