the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
