Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize