Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
