I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
