We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
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Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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