My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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