singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
