jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.