I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...