Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You just made me feel so damn special
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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