Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize