arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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